Raising Saints: Suffering

One of the greatest tragedies in life is wasted suffering. Little do we realize that suffering is one of the supreme blessings that God can allow parents to convert their souls, the souls of their children, and shorten their time in purgatory. It is the reason that St. Faustina could say, “Suffering is the greatest treasure on earth; it purifies the soul. In suffering we learn who is our true friend” (Quoted in O’Hearn, 2021, p. 221).

Here begins the fourth hallmark in the series of learning about the parents of the saints and what they did to raise holy children: Suffering.

Back in college, I found myself discerning with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. While there, I came upon one of their priests’, Fr. Stan Fortuna’s, poignant song: “Everybody Got 2 Suffer.”  The opening lyrics go as follows:

You think that you the only one that got to suffer??
You think that you the only one with pain to suffer???
Everybody got a thing they gotta suffer.
Rich or poor don’t matter gotta suffer.

If you seriously study the saints’ lives, you will notice one common denominator among them: suffering. And that suffering frequently began in their childhood. For instance, Margaret Bosco, the mother of St. John Bosco, lost her husband at the age of twenty-nine. She would now raise three boys by herself. Margaret told her future saint, her two-year-old John Bosco at the time: “You have no father now” (222). Perhaps not having a father became a catalyst for St. John Bosco to devote his life to helping orphaned boys. Yes, God wants to use our sufferings to help others who are experiencing similar sufferings.

At fifty-eight, when many retire, Margaret Bosco faced a life-changing request from her son—one that brought both deep suffering and profound joy. St. John Bosco invited his mother to live with him and help take care of thirty orphaned boys as the housekeeper and cook. Margaret said yes. She even used her wedding dress to sew priestly vestments and gave away her wedding ring and jewelry to pay the rent as St. John Bosco had no source of income but relied solely on donations. Margaret acknowledged how difficult it was to part from her prized possessions, but then she realized how happy she was to assist her son and so fulfill God’s will.

Suffering also visited the households of St. Paul of the Cross and St. Josemaría Escrivá. St. Paul’s father was imprisoned a few times. On one occasion, he was charged for fraud and on another occasion, it involved allegations of smuggling. This brought financial hardship to the family and tarnished their good name. Through it all, Anna Maria remained steadfast in her marriage and Catholic Faith. Anna Maria also taught her children to keep their eyes on the Cross. For instance, when Anna Maria used to comb her son Paul’s hair (he hated it), she would say to him: “Look, my child, how Jesus suffered” (227-8). Anna Maria also loved to read the lives of the saints to her children, including the penitential life of the desert fathers. These saints inspired St. Paul of the Cross to pursue a holy life.

In addition to St. Paul of the Cross’s family, the Escrivá family experienced its share of suffering. St. Josemaría Escrivá’s father was once cheated out of his business by his business partner, which forced the family to sell their home and live in an apartment. They also had to leave behind their beloved hometown as his father searched for work. St. Josemaría once said this about his father:

I have a holy pride: I love my father with all my heart, and I believe he has a very high place in heaven, because he managed to bear in such dignified, marvelous Christian way all the humiliation that came with finding himself out on the street. (220)

Besides losing his fortune, St. Josemaría’s parents lost three daughters in consecutive years. But through it all, his parents’ faith in God remained strong. St. Josemaría also noted his father’s joy in the midst of suffering.

The Sacrament of Matrimony is a Way of the Cross. Parents bear many crosses: losing a spouse or child, financial hardship, a child leaving the Faith, or facing persecution. God made marriage a sacrament to provide couples the grace needed to guide their family to Heaven.

In many Catholic families today, the phrase “offer it up” has seemingly disappeared. This was not so for the parents of the saints. They embraced suffering, never wasting it, with their eyes fixed on Christ Crucified.

Editor’s Note: This article is part four of a series on the parents of saints by Patrick O’Hearn.

Image from Salesian College