The Blessing of Reconciling a Past Abortion Later in Life

As we age, there is a keener awareness of the passage of time.  Amidst the joys and blessings of life, we face the challenges of diminished physical capacity and illness, and the grief of losing family and friends.  This can spark an examination of one’s life, and contemplation on the deeper issues of faith, death, and final judgment. 

The U.S. abortion ratio reached its peak in 1984, with 364 abortions for every 1,000 live births.  This generation with the highest abortion rates in our nation’s history are entering their golden years.  This provides an opportunity for the Church to share a message of reconciliation, hope, and healing.

Eileen Kuhlmann has been a leader for many years in an abortion healing ministry in the Dallas archdiocese.  Eileen shared the story of Joanne: “An 87-year-old woman reached out to me with a desire to heal of a past abortion.  She simply said, ‘It is time.’”

Eileen told her about their Rachel’s Vineyard abortion healing retreats, and Joanne agreed to attend.  Eileen arranged to have a driver pick her up and bring her to the retreat center.  Joanne brought her elderly friend Jane with her, who also wanted to heal from a past abortion.  

Both woman shared stories that featured abandonment, abuse, pressure to abort, and violence.  Eileen recounts the blessings of that weekend:

“It was time. They felt safe enough, loved enough, to be vulnerable.  They were ready to surrender their hearts and souls to the Lord, allowing Him to reconcile and heal their deepest wounds. They had carried it long enough.”

Each retreat participant received a prayer shawl at the beginning of the weekend, prayerfully knitted with love by volunteers.   During the retreat, Eileen witnessed Joanne and Jane wrapping the younger retreatants into their shawl and consoling them with a hug, as only a grandmother can do.

Eileen adds, “Joanne and Jane walked out the door with a glow about them that cannot be described, and the most beautiful smiles. Two elders completely at peace who left a permanent footprint of grace and love on our hearts.”

An Army Veteran and Nurse Shares the Love of Christ

For some older adults, their abortion took place before the national legalization of abortion in 1973.

Jody Duffy is an army veteran, registered nurse, and Rachel’s Vineyard leader with the PATH program in the Atlanta area.  Jody shared her experience with an 83-year-old woman from her parish, Kathryn. 

When in her 20s, Kathryn had three children and discovered she was pregnant.  Her husband told her they couldn’t afford another baby.  At that time, abortion was not a legal option.  Kathryn was a nurse and knew how to self-abort.  Sadly, she had helped one of her nurse friends do the same.

Jody shares, “She buried those abortions so deep that it wasn’t until she came across a priest on EWTN talking about the importance of confessing abortion, that it surfaced.”

Jody learned that Kathryn never had an opportunity to confess her involvement in those two abortions. Fortunately, a priest who had served on the local Rachel’s Vineyard team with Jody was available to hear Kathryn’s confession. Drawing upon his experience in Rachel’s Vineyard, the priest ministered to Kathryn with great understanding and sensitivity, sharing the mercy and forgiveness of Christ and His Church.

Jody met Kathryn for coffee a few more times before the holidays. Then, after the New Year, she had a massive stroke; “I visited her in the ICU. I laid my head on her chest and cried. She smiled at me, whispering, ‘you are my angel.’’’

Kathryn survived that stroke.  Jody continued to visit her often while she was in rehab.  Kathryn passed away 4 years later. She did not take that secret nor the fear and anguish of unforgiveness to her grave, praise be to God.

Hospice and Abortion Healing

Jody worked as a hospice nurse in two different facilities.  Jody shares from her experience:

“I had the opportunity to speak with the team Chaplains about the pain of abortion and the fact that many women and men carry that pain to their graves—denied the reconciliation, healing, and peace that is available. 

“Reconciliation and healing of a past abortion loss, and often multiple abortions, can facilitate a more peaceful, and blessed, end-of-life experience.”

Those working as professionals, serving as caregivers, and in pastoral ministry, would be blessed by an increased awareness about abortion suffering, and the emotional and spiritual healing programs in their community.

One of the best ways to gain an in-depth knowledge of how abortion impacts women and men, and how to safely reconcile and heal those wounds, is to attend a program like Rachel’s Vineyard.  This will equip you with the confidence and sensitivity to reach out effectively to those you serve.  

In her Diary of a Soul, the saint of Divine Mercy, Sr. Maria Faustina Kowalska, shares of her intimate mystical encounters with the Lord Jesus, and the power of His mercy.  This is a message of hope to those who, later in life, are called to reconcile and heal of a past abortion loss. In Diary of a Soul, Jesus shares: 

“All grace flows from mercy…even if a person’s sins were dark as night.  God’s mercy is stronger than our misery. I am love and mercy itself.”

Author’s Note: For more information on attending or inviting others to attend a Rachel’s Vineyard healing retreat, visit RachelsVineyard.org.

Photo by Andrey Zvyagintsev on Unsplash