How to Teach Your Teenager to Pray

Teaching young people to pray can be a daunting challenge for parents and catechists, but the reality is that it is one of the most important tasks we have if in a position of forming young people as disciples. As parents, we have the responsibility of being the primary catechist for our children. And for those of us who serve as catechists or in a youth ministry capacity, we ought to keep in mind that spiritual formation is one of our fundamental responsibilities and should treat it as such. Here are some steps to help you get started!

The first thing we need to understand about teaching others to pray is that we simply cannot give what we do not have. Jesus tells us in the Gospel of John, “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (Jn. 15:5). If we want to bear fruit and form disciples, we must be taking time to pray and be filled ourselves.

Before we begin teaching, we need to seek to understand those we teach. With teenagers in particular, we have to understand that they are in the unique developmental stage of adolescence. We have to accept this and understand that “teenagers are going to act like teenagers.” There is a balance in not treating them like children, but also not placing too high of a level regarding expectations. They often have a lot of energy, so beginning with a silent holy hour may not be the best place to start! With that being said, teens have an incredible capacity for the sacred and for encountering God. Two tips for this are to ask the Lord to help you see the teenagers as He sees them and also to seek the face of Jesus in the faces of your teenagers.

Teaching young people to pray is a spiritual act of mercy (Instructing the Ignorant). However, to be effective in this task we need to minister to the other spiritual and developmental needs of teenagers. There is an adage in youth ministry that young people don’t care about what you know until they know how much you care. Young people need community, mentoring relationships, and people in their lives who show them that they care about them. If you want young people to listen to you, you must find ways to show them that you want only the best for them.

When teaching prayer, many of us begin with memorizing popular prayers like the Rosary or Divine Mercy Chaplet. These devotions are absolutely beautiful, and they should be something we teach young people. With that being said, we also need to teach young people how to pray spontaneously from the heart. The traditional term “mental prayer” is given to this process—simply speaking to God in our hearts. Oftentimes, this needs to be modeled by speaking the prayer out loud. This can take many different forms; praise, thanksgiving, repentance, petition, and intercession are a handful of examples of “content” that can fill our prayer.

One method that I have used to help teach young people how to pray in this manner is the PRAY acronym. PRAY stands for Praise, Repentance, Ask, and Yield. One of the things I love about this acronym is that it is simple, and it also makes room for learning to listen to God’s voice.

We begin by praising God and thanking Him for all the blessings in our life. I always tell teenagers, when you are listing off things that you are grateful for, spent a few moments after you run out of ideas to try and think of a few more. The more we can foster an interior disposition of gratitude, the healthier we will be both spiritually and emotionally! From there, we reflect on the past day and repent by asking God to forgive us for any wrongdoings we committed and make resolutions to do better next time. If necessary, we make plans to attend the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Then, we ask God to help supply our spiritual and material needs along with the spiritual and material needs of others that come to mind. We ask God to bless others. Finally, we yield to the voice and presence of God by asking Him either what He wants to heal in us, how He is calling us deeper into a relationship with Him, or how He is calling us to grow as a son or daughter of God. From there, we silently rest in His presence. We trust that He is listening to us, and we open our heart to any inspirations that He “speaks” to us.

Finally, it is so important for us to model prayer by praying with our teens, especially in moments of trial or difficulty. Anxiety about an exam or a big game coming up are opportunities to pray with your teen out loud and ask God to fill them with peace. If there is a situation at school causing restlessness, simply saying “let’s take this to Jesus,” and saying a quick prayer asking God to help in the situation is a great way to model for young people. Even tense situations or conflict at home can be opportunities to grow, to take a step back from conflict, and ask God to be present and bring a spirit of reconciliation. As a parent, apologizing when we lose our temper and saying a prayer together asking God to help can make a huge impression on our children. They know we aren’t perfect, and by showing them how we ourselves need to depend on God to help us grow helps them to see that they don’t have to be perfect either.

I truly believe young people today have it harder than any other living generation. The stress and pressures of modern life, social media, trying to get to college (and figuring out how to pay off debt), as well as a level of busyness that we never had to deal with all feed into a generation that is more anxious and more depressed than any other. Despite the “connectedness” that social media provides, young people report feelings of isolation and loneliness far higher than previous generations.

To teach young people how to pray means entering into their world and helping them connect to the God of the universe who loves them and wants to pour out His own life into theirs. Jesus tells us in Scripture that He came that we might have life, and have it abundantly (Jn. 10:10). Teaching young people how to pray gives them the tools they need to tap into this abundance of life. What a wonderful calling this is.

No matter what, don’t give up: stay prayed up, pray for the young people, and keep sharing the gift of prayer with them. The apostles faced rejection, even persecution. We may experience the same in this learning process. It is difficult, but it’s not just for the benefit of your salvation but for theirs, too!

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez ???????? on Unsplash