Why Is Humility so Difficult to Achieve?

Humility, on the one hand, should be the easiest of all the virtues to achieve.  After all, we did not create ourselves, and we owe a debt of gratitude that we can never pay to our parents and all those who have contributed to our life.  We are microscopic specks inhabiting a vast universe for a very brief period of time.  As the Russian existentialist, Nikolai Berdyaev writes, “humility is ontological.”  By that he means that if we take an honest look at our being, it tells us that we should be humble.

On the other hand, as a matter of fact, humility is the most difficult of all the virtues to acquire.  Why is there such disparity between realism and fantasy?  We are mortal, finite, defectible, and prone to extreme foolishness.  That is nothing to be proud of.  Yet pride takes hold of us and expresses itself in the three ugly daughters of ambition, boastfulness, and ostentation.  We look at our existence through rose-colored glasses.  We are truly odd creatures.

The distinguished writer Somerset Maugham expressed this conundrum in his biography, The Summing Up: 

To myself I am the most important person in the world; though I do not forget that, not even taking into consideration so grand a concept as the Absolute, but from the standpoint of common sense, I am of no consequence whatever.  It would have made small difference to the universe if I had never existed.

For the man who was, in his time, the world’s highest paid novelist, his philosophy of life oscillated unhappily between egoism and despair.  Maugham was an atheist who could not reconcile the antinomies between these two perspectives of the self and common sense.  Nevertheless, he has spoken for millions who have gone through similarly unproductive struggles.

Each one of us looks out at the world from a point of consciousness.  We have our consciousness—something that no one else has.  What happens to us is supremely important.  What happens to others takes place outside of our frame of reference.  “I think therefore I am,” said Descartes, but does his kind of thinking ratify the existence of anyone else?  Given our unique way of viewing the world, it is inevitable that we assign more importance to ourselves than is reasonable.  I am a subject who is the only subject for me; therefore, what happens to me is of paramount importance.  I think and act as though I am the center of the universe.  No wonder I have difficulty coming to terms with objectivity, truth, and common sense realism.

But if God exists, then He, not I, occupies that center.  I am important because my destiny is to serve God.  In this regard, my existence and my destiny harmonize.  Without God, I try vainly to reconcile contradictories.

Humility may be rare, but it does exist.  I provide four examples featuring a politician, an essayist, an artist, and a novelist.  Their examples inspire both admiration and imitation. 

Abraham Lincoln stated in his Gettysburg Address that “the world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here…”  His address stands as arguably the greatest speech ever given by an American politician.  Many a high school student has been obliged to memorize the address.  His words are not only remembered, but praised, honored, and celebrated.  When we are humble, that is when we are at our best.

G. K. Chesterton, despite his astonishing talents as an artist, novelist, poet, and literary critic, like Lincoln, did not think his words would be long remembered.  “I believe the biographers…of the future, if they find any trace of me at all, will say, Chesterton, Gilbert Keith.”  Those who knew him attested to his humility.

During his lifetime, William Kurelek (1927-77) was Canada’s most popular painter.  A man of extraordinary humility, be believed that his paintings were meant to serve God and not for self-remuneration.  His initial decision not to sign his paintings was overridden by his agent who explained that buyers wanted a signature to indicate the painting’s authenticity.  Kurelek obliged and signed his painting with his initials, W.K., with the middle tine of the “W” rising to form a Cross.  I had the pleasure of befriending William Kurelek and can attest to his genuine humility.  He provided seven sketches for my first book without charge and send most of the proceeds from his paintings to feed the hungry.

Edward Doherty (1890-1975) was a novelist and newspaper reporter.  While writing for the Chicago Tribune, he was reputed to have been the highest paid journalist in America.  He authored Wisdom’s Fool: a Biography of St Louis De Montfort.  Widowed twice, he married a third time, to Catherine de Hueck, founder of the Madonna House Apostolate.  While married, he became a priest in the Melkite Greek Catholic Church.  His grave marker in Combermere, Ontario, is a summation of his life’s work:  “All my words for the Word.” 

In humility we find both ourselves and our purpose in life. C. S. Lewis has told us that “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”  Humility is not self-abnegation but accepting our empowerment from God.  There can be no humility without God.  Dedication to God saves us from egoism and despair.  He affirms us in our being and offers us our destiny.  It is only in God that we can harmonize our significance as a unique human being with our divinely appointed destiny.

Photo by Alex Vasey on Unsplash